Missing Him

Well not much new has been going on. The FRO is have a ball in November for all the Ladies that have Deployed Spouses. Which I will go to because it helps to be around friends who I know are going through the same thing I am. It helps me feel not so alone. I have been hanging out at my Mom's house a lot since My Hubby left which is good cause it helps the evenings go by a lot quicker. October my Mom invited me to go on a vacation with her to Cancun, Mexico which I will be going, so long as they have WiFi for my laptop. That way I can talk to My Hubby. I will be there for about 10 days. I have to find a goal for me to do in September still. Lately I have been Missing My Husband more than I usually do. Although I get to email with him a lot which I am very lucky to be able to do I just Miss Him So So So So Much! Well I know this blog isn't much but it is bedtime for me.  

Getting By

Hey All,

Sorry for not writing in a bit. Work keeps me busy and so does my family and hobbies I have going on right now.  I work an hour away from home and that is where most of my family live too. So I see them everyday which I am very thankful for...specially when we are going through this deployment. My mom always wants me to stay at her house which, which is fine with me. I stay with her at least twice a week. But sometimes I just want to go home and be alone for awhile and clean the house, do laundry, feed and play with my dogs etc... So it's been very nearly 2 months since My Husband left and I Miss Him SOOOOOO Much! I am trying to set new goals for myself each month. That way I have something to look forward to. I am still trying to come up with one for September. I am just ready for the Holidays to begin. I think once October starts i'll feel a little more relief knowing that it won't be SOOO far away for my Husband to come home! Although I am afraid of what life will be like after deployment I am more than willing to get through it together. I just wonder if it will be like my dream reunion that I dream of ever since we left each others arms or if we will have a hard time with reintegration. I know I shouldn't dwell on those things because it makes me crazy most of the time and I get very anxious for him to be home already but I just can't help myself at times. I get to email with him everyday which I am SO Thankful To God For! He calls me anywhere from 1-3x a week which again I Thank God For. I worry about him constantly because I Love Him So Very Much! I Just Want Him To Come Home Safe so we can hold each other again! But then again what Military Wife doesn't...lol! Well that is about it for now. Not much going on right now besides me working and going to the gym 3x weekly. I am excited about losing weight and get healthier and Surprise My Husband when he gets home! Can't Wait!

Missing My Marine

Keeping it short tonight cause tomorrow is a work day. All I can say is Thank God another week is over and that is a week closer to seeing my hubby again. I Am Happy I Got To Video Chat With My Hubby This Morning! It Always Makes Me Feel Better. So I have been having these strange emotions lately. Before my hubby deployed he recorded videos for me telling me he Loves Me and Goodnight Videos. I also recorded him packing for deployment and him just being his goofy ol' self. Every Time I Watch The Videos...it's surreal for me to see him actually standing in our living room. I don't know why! I just really Miss Him. Can't Wait To Have Him Home. I'm a bit afraid of the reintegration process. I don't know is it too soon to worry about that. I mean we are a little over a month into this deployment. Oh well I suppose I will have many worries until We Are Safe In Eachother's Arms! Ok I am off. Work tomorrow.

Finding My Way

Well even though my sleep schedule has still been messed up some. I am getting more into my own routine on the day to day life. Although I still feel like I'm new to this life I am feeling a bit better about it. This past Friday all the wives in my husband's unit got together and had a potluck. It was really helpful to see that even though I feel like the only one going through all this I'm actually not. It helped me to see a different point of view on things. It also help me meet new people and they are all great ladies. Very nice and so welcoming. It also distracted me from the constant worry of my husband. I was just able to relax and just be one of the girls. Although I still cannot wait to August to be over already...lol!

So Friday I also had my best friend stay over for the night and she went with me to the potluck. Her hubby just started a new night job and she is not used to sleeping by herself so she asked if she can come sleepover. So we had a slumber party lol! I guess you can call it that. I had fun though. Then the next day we got ready and went to have lunch at Hometown Buffet. After that I dropped her off at home and then I headed to my mom's house. I ended up staying the night and for once I actually got a good night's rest. I woke up the next morning had a small breakfast then drove home. When I got home I had a nice video chat with my Hubby! I was SO SO SO SO Happy to see him. I Miss Him Very Much! I chated with him for about an hour or so. Which I LOVED! He then had to go to bed cause he had PT early the next morning. He says all is well and it's been quiet which I am VERY Thankful For. I pray to God everyday and night to keep my husband safe from all harm as well as the Men & Women of our Armed Forces and their families. Whether they are here or over seas. So after a video chat with my hubby I got another call from Skype from my in laws. They are the nicest but craziest bunch you will ever meet. But I love them all! My sister in law moved to Colorado a few months ago and my in laws started to miss their grand daughter so they surprised me on Skype when she was there with them. They drove met my sister in law in Nebraska and took my niece up to IL with them until September when she starts school again. So they are very Happy to have her for a couple of months! So all in all it was a good weekend.

Feeling Lost

Today I got to talk to my Husband on the phone and that always makes my day. I Love hearing his voice and knowing he is Safe. So I realized that I can no longer watch all those Homecoming shows. It just hits too close to home for me. I am very happy for those on the show that get to hug and be with their loved ones again, buuuttt with my hubby deployed I can't help but feel a little bit of jealousy. Not because I hate them but because that is THE ONE THING that I want the MOST right now. Is to have my husband safe and back in my arms and me in his. I really try everyday to be positive and substitute all my negative thoughts for positive. It's harder than it sounds but it does seem to be helping. Everyone has their own methods of survival and that is just one of mine. I cannot believe it's already August and already I can't wait for it to be over. Then again that's what I was saying when July first started. I know that's how I am going to be until He Comes Home Safe!

So lately I have been in a bit weird mood. We have been married for 4 amazing years now and somehow I feel like I still don't belong. I guess you could say I don't feel like a "Seasoned Wife". I feel awkward without my husband around base. I feel like a noob. Just because this is MY first deployment with him married but his fourth...I don't feel like a Marine Wife. It's hard to explain I hope I'm making some sense. I talked to my Husband a little about this through email yesterday and he told me that at deployments I am new to it because we were fortunate enough to not have him deploy for the last 4 years. Last time he left was in 2006 and we were still engaged. I don't know if this is normal or if other wives have felt the same way. But I got to thinking and realized that being a Marine Wife isn't about how many times your Husband has deployed but the simple fact that you are there Loving and Supporting him in what he chose to do. No matter how many deployments we have under our belts we are still all in this together! I am Damn Proud of the fact that I Love and Married One Of The Few Good Men and he Loves me back. Even though deployments can Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo it! (excuse my language) I am very proud of him and the of our troops for what they do for this country! Yes that was my patriotic moment for the day lol!

Now the other thing that is driving me a little crazy is civilians who ask me the same questions all the time when they find out the my Hubby is in the military. I have days where I feel like I just want to scream if one more person asks me "Do You Miss Him?" "When is he coming home?" "Does he get to come home for the holidays?" "Aren't you afraid something will happen to him?" "OMG how long? You still have a long time to go!" etc etc... I have to count to 10 and remind myself that not everyone understands how Military life works. Instead of making angry remarks I just have to politely tell them you know what yes I do miss him everyday but I would appreciate it if we did not talk about it. I suppose everyone is different and for some people it helps to talk about it. And I do sometimes. I just don't like being pushed into talking about it. Well that was my venting for today! It's time to go spend sometime with my family now. Thanks for reading.